SWEET TEETH
My boyfriend and I are currently at war because I recently decreed a savory snack ban in our household. I cannot be trusted around chips, crackers, popcorn, pretzels, or any variation of puff. An entire 16-ounce bag can be jettisoned down my gullet in under 16 seconds, so I had to take action and eradicate any and all snacks from the apartment.
Our battles have been long and hard—I fire a bag of Hot Cheetos I found cached under the couch at him, and he calls me a fascist in response—but my salt intake is at an all-time low, so I am the one who has triumphed.
While the victory looks ravishing on me, I hate to see my lover lose, so I’ve developed these Cheesy Checkerboards as a peace offering of sorts. Unfortunately, since I started testing the recipe, I have eaten at least 100 of them, but I suppose it’s all for love.
These savory cookies start with a simple buttery shortbread-esque base. Half the dough is then mixed with parmesan and cracked black pepper, and the other half with cheddar and cayenne, resulting in a deeply savory, salty, cheesy snack with a slight spice on the back end. Once the dough has chilled, a little slicing and dicing creates the checkboard pattern, so the cookies can look as good as they taste.
These would be deliciously on-theme for a charcuterie board at a game night but are also delightful when eaten hunched over the sink, as I’ve done many times. Paid subscribers can also access my Spiced Apple Chutney, the perfect sweet and sour condiment to smother these in.
Checkmate! I know that’s chess, but… like… are there any cute catchphrases for checkers…?
THE RECIPE
CHEESY CHECKERBOARDS
makes 28 cookies
Ingredients:
2 3/4 cups (352g) all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp (6g) baking powder
1 tsp (4g) Diamond Crystal kosher salt*
16 tbsp (113g/2 sticks) unsalted butter
1/4 cup (50g) granulated sugar
1 large (50g) egg
1/3 cup (43g) cheddar cheese powder**
1/2 tsp (1g) cayenne pepper
2 ounce (57g/~2/3 cup) hunk of parmesan, finely grated
1 tsp (2g) freshly cracked black pepper
Spiced Apple Chutney, for serving
Directions:
Whisk together your dry ingredients: In a medium-sized bowl whisk together your flour, baking powder, and salt.
Make the base dough: In the bowl of a stand mixer, fit with the paddle attachment, combine your butter and sugar, and beat on medium-high until fluffy, 2-3 minutes. Add in your egg and beat for an additional minute. Turn off the mixer, scrape down the sides of the bowl, and add in your dry ingredients. Pulse the mixer until the dough has come together uniformly.
Divide & flavor: Divide your dough in half using a kitchen scale to weigh it out into equal portions and place one half back into the bowl of the stand mixer. Add your parmesan and black pepper and mix on low until fully incorporated. Remove the parmesan and black pepper dough from the stand mixer and place it on a large sheet of plastic wrap. Place the second half of your dough into the stand mixer, add in your cheddar powder and cayenne, and beat on low until fully incorporated. Remove this dough from the bowl and place on a separate large piece of plastic wrap.
Shape & chill: Using your hands form each dough into a 7-inch long squared-off log shape parallel to the long side of your plastic, making sure they are the same length and thickness. Fold the top and bottom of the plastic wrap over the first dough tightly. Fold the sides inward, and press each of the four long sides of the log against your counter to smooth them. Repeat with the second dough. Transfer your squared-off logs to the fridge. Chill for at least 3 hours, or overnight.
Slice & stack & chill again: When your doughs have fully chilled, remove from the fridge, unwrap, and cut each log into thirds, the long way, and then cut each third into thirds, the long way, so you have nine strips from each log. Lay one piece of the cheddar dough down and add a strip of the parmesan dough to either side and press together. Stack the dough, alternating flavors so you end up with a 3x3 checkerboard pattern, pressing together with each addition. Repeat with the remaining 9 strips of dough so you have two 7-inch squared-off logs. Rewrap each log in plastic wrap and press each side of the dough firmly against the counter to keep the dough square and fuse the strips together. Chill for another half hour.
Preheat & prep: When ready to bake, place your oven racks into the upper-middle and lower-middle slots. Preheat your oven to 350°. Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper. Remove your dough from the fridge and unwrap.
Slice & bake: Slice your logs into 1/2 inch thick squares. Should any cookies fall apart when slicing simply press them back together. Place 13 checkerboards onto each baking sheet at least a half-inch apart. Transfer your sheets to the oven and bake for 13-15 minutes, or until lightly golden around the edges, swapping the sheets once halfway through baking. Let cool and enjoy topped with Spiced Apple Chutney.
Leftovers?: Store in an airtight container for up to 5 days.
Notes:
*If you’re using any other type or brand of salt (i.e. Morton, or sea salt), I suggest scaling back by 1/2.
**In a pinch if you don’t want to buy or order cheddar cheese powder, you can use the packet from inside a box of Kraft Mac & Cheese.
Hey, Ian—Would you mind if I share this to my Snacking Dinners newsletter? (The regular share—thumbnails with a preview and a link, etc)
at first I was sad because if your savory snack ban, then I was happy because of the Kraft Mac. a rollercoaster ending on a high!