DRINK UP!: TOASTED COCONUT JUNGLE BIRD

and a coconut rum that doesn't taste like sunscreen

DRINK UP!

My first time getting drunk was in a friend’s basement on a spring Saturday during my sophomore year of high school. Her parents were away on vacation, and she managed to convince her older sister to pick up a hodgepodge of cheap liquor for us in exchange for $250.

The entire week prior was full of anticipation, as I, a former kiss-ass-goody-two-shoes-worry-wart-teacher’s-pet nerd, prepared myself to do something “illegal” and “irresponsible.” Each night, I’d find myself in a pool of cold sweat, gasping for air, as I was ripped from yet another nightmare in which I was arrested and sentenced to life in prison for drinking Pink Lemonade Svedka at 16. I got so anxious as my dad drove me to her house that I had to make him pull over so I could dry heave out my butterflies on the side of the road. Nevertheless, I persisted and managed to find myself in her basement staring at a table lined with Malibu, Blue Raspberry Vodka, Watermelon Schnapps, Fireball, and an assortment of mixers, including orange soda, pineapple juice, Yoo-hoo, and a bottle of pre-squeezed lemon juice.

We all sat cross-legged on the floor as our host lectured us on how much alcohol we should pour into a “standard drink”—for some reason she seemed to think it was 4 shots—and informed us that if we had to vomit, we should do it in the woods behind her house because she was “too gorgeous to be cleaning a toilet” the next day.

After her speech, she passed around red Solo cups, and we began brewing our concoctions. I landed on a half cup of Malibu, topped with pineapple juice and orange soda. We clinked our cups together, sending a spray of syrupy liquid onto the floor. I jerked my eyes from person to person, holding a moment of eye contact to avoid any bad luck, as I took my first big gulp. It tasted sickly sweet and of sunscreen, something I attempted to fix with a splash of the lemon juice, though you can’t put a Band-Aid on a bullet hole. It was disgusting, but I ultimately had three of them before passing out on the cold tile floor.

Today, I want to recreate my first drink for all of you, but in a delicious and fun way! I ultimately settled on a riff on a Jungle Bird because it has a lovely balance of sweet rum, sour pineapple, and bitter citrus. I decided that coconut would fit perfectly in all of this to double down on the tropical flavors, but I have never in my life had a good coconut rum, so I decided to make my own. This one utilizes toasted coconut to give the rum a deeper caramelized coconut flavor. For me, this is the perfect summer drink and certainly an upgrade from my vile Pineapple-Malibu-Orange-Soda situation, so I hope you all enjoy it!

THE RECIPE

TOASTED COCONUT JUNGLE BIRD

makes one drink (and 8 ounces of Toasted Coconut Rum)